By Dee Lee
I was trying to nap in the back seat when the car hit the barrier and started to skid. Instead of the predictable survival response of fight-or-flight, a much deeper impulse arose. The mind went blank and, with eyes still closed, I heard myself calmly utter: “Your will, not mine.”
A simple, exquisite prayer of surrender that to this day echoes through the depths of my Being.
Learning to Trust
Nowadays, I find myself silently repeating these words more frequently in everyday situations. I am learning to trust more. To listen more closely. To heed only that inner voice. To act on it with courage. To gradually let go of the illusion of control. Slowly, I’m finding the delicate balance between personal effort and surrender. It’s a dance that brings such freedom and relaxation.
When I’m able to maintain enough awareness in the moment, I remember a quote attributed (though sometimes disputed) to St. Germain: “All is well in all of creation always.” The Heart knows this to be true even when the mind, with its filtered perceptions, believes otherwise. Its ideas of how things “should be” and what success looks like are so limited and so limiting. Over and over again, the outcomes of situations are far more awesome than what the conditioned mind could have anticipated. As Saint Teresa of Calcutta said, “God has not called me to be successful. He has called me to be faithful.”
So much wisdom and inspiration can be drawn from her on the topic of surrender. She also said, “I don’t claim anything of the work. It’s His work. I’m like a little pencil in His hand. That’s all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do it.” How beautiful is that? This idea resonates so deeply for me that it somehow finds its way into a hatha yoga class that I teach.
Grace Is Love
For years, the word “God” had such a strong negative association for me. This was largely a result of disillusionment with organized religion, the control and claims of dogma, and the perceived hypocrisy of the church. Through Grace, I have been able to transcend this barrier and perceive the Absolute directly, beyond form and concept. Looking at how mystics across all religions and philosophies describe their direct experience of the Divine, it is blatantly clear that they are talking about the same thing. It’s just the story around it that’s different—yet, that’s what we tend to focus on! This causes the separation, judgment, and conflict that are so painfully prevalent in the world today.
These days, my preferred name for this Infinite Love is Grace. She has a feminine presence at the moment, to help me through my current set of lessons. She has so many names. So many forms. So many faces.
The Power of Gratitude
Recently, I was reflecting upon the ever-growing list of people, experiences, lessons, and stuff that I have been blessed with in this Life. So much to be grateful for. As Meister Eckhart so eloquently stated: “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”
It dawned upon me that the Spanish word for “thank you” can be translated as “graces.” Coincidence? There’s no such thing in this Sublime Symphony of Life. So, it stands to reason that my only intention going forward is to more closely align myself with the Divine Will in each moment. To offer every thought, feeling, word, and action that comes through the personal self back to the Source of All. Doing this for the benefit of All.
Dee is a Hridaya teacher currently serving as our General Manager.